Uknighted Manganime Life is too short to watch bad anime

Politics are a silly thing. When you get a borerline scuffle between two countries, what’s the best thing to do? Send out an inquiry? Get an explanation with a thorough investigation and fact finding with impartial third parties? NO! You send out your Otome in a fit of pique and finger pointing! Thankfully, the fires of accusation are kindled to ashes when Sergei drops the keys to his ‘Luv Mobile’ to make the leaders see that it’s better to have a sweet, pimped-out ride to impress the lady-types with, rather than to say who’s fault it is.

At the Toilet Academy, it turns out that not only do the Otome have to have the burden of their master’s life, their nation, and thier own on shoudlers, but they have to take classes that don’t mean jack in battle. Yet, tensions run high as Miya works with Yayoi’s face, making sure NOT to get the switchblade in her coat since she’s from the opposing country. The fear running through the room makes the girls actually think, since only the extremely vain and foolish have to check their vanity during battle. It comes to a head when Miya calls out on Antsy’s claim to prevent wars and Antsy’s got nothing to back it up since she’s distracted by turning Erstin into a clown, which pretty much speaks for the whole school.

During a recess, Natsuki, competely forgetting her history lessons, wonders why things are deteriorating the way they are when they’ve got the perfect system in place. Sergei calls out against Natsuki with a ‘more comprehensive understanding of human nature and history’ Flush and beats Natsuki’s ‘the system is perfect’ high card. Silly Natsuki, people in power will always want more and will cheat and circumvent the system to do so, by subterfuge, plot holes, and globilization! Bet you’re wishing you stayed awake in Midori’s classes, eh?

Through a large jumpt cut, we find Haruka’s not only enraged, she’s disappointed in the Otome she may as well have trained. “Remember,” she told them once, “that no poor dumb buttock-munch never won a war by giving for his country. They won it, by making the other poor, dumb, buttock-munch, die for his country.” So you see, Haruka’s ready for some serious disciplining, and that’s not when she’s chewing bubble gum and kicking ass… though she’s all out of ass. As much as we’d love to see more of Haruka, the Fires of her Justice are quelled by Yukino, making her realize that not only would their country be drawn into a war, but their ratings would plummet.

Back at another place, the king that hired Midori and the Aswald for a future TV series plans on sacking them before the end of their first season, because they’re not the greatest undersea adventure he thought they were. And despite being only a group of five, it turns out their pokemon are a force to be reckoned with, since the king fears them getting their metal covered claws on the technology everyone seeks. But the Aswald aren’t all bad, since they enjoy stone carving, tour guides through the Grand Canyon, and races on their Skyhoppers.

Seems like everyone’s throwing a tantrum or something like that today, since Mashiro’s not only playing hookey for her brat lessons (which she doesn’t need, really), but her courtly duties as the leader of Windbloom as well. Looks like Takumi’s verbal spanking about how much she sucks as a Queen really hurt the thin skinned Mashiro. Worst of all, Mikoto’s felt like she’s losing several lives at once being strangled consistently. I’m calling the Humane Society!

In Artai, Nagi and Agent Smith are watching “HiMEs Gone Wild Vol.2″, those zany perverts. Or, rather, they would have been watching that, but instead they got some secret footage of hidden technology pilfered from Midori, ready to be used for sinster purposes, such as canon fodder for heroes, and common villainry. Oh, Nagi. What evil, sinister, and cliched plans do you have up your card laden sleeve?

Back at Fumi’s Cliched Sanctuary, Arika now starting to feel severe sugar withdrawls as she finds herself torn between the Major and the reason this series was made in the first place. In an attempt to cheer herself up, she tries to recite, “If I only had a brain” from the Wizard of Oz, but breaks down when she finally realizes that her most cherished childhood memory was when she wanted to be Dorothy and got cast as a flying monkey. Not even Zig Ziggler, Dr. Phil, or even Oprah can stop the tears, but Erstin’s timely appearence can. Through this, the tables from the survival exam are turned and Erstin does the singing. Uh oh, it appears that someone with a hostile intent was overhearing…

Back in Natsuki’s office, Youko secretly replaces the director’s coffee with Foldger’s Crystals. Add in a lump of backstory we already figured from episoe 10, and we got a decent, caffine laden aside to keep you up at night, like all good caffine products do.

At Ground Zero, Shizuru figures she could make a killing if she could harness the hair levitating properties of this place. If someone as skanky as her could look good with levitating hair, then anyone could! But, it looks like Miyu, the Butt-Ugly Robo, already called dibs. So, as a consolation prize, she gives Shizuru a warning and another Restraining Order, bringing Shizuru’s grand total up to a dozen or so.

Back at the Toilet, Tomoe weaves her cunning and EVIL plans with a hypnotic twirl around the emotionally besieged Miya. Yet, what’s more pressing is the matter of Miya’s forehead. Tomoe wants an ever present mirror, so she makes her a deal to become her personal vanity, and something else, but that comes later.

It’s not easy having a AK+ blood type, (Chuck Norris Ass-Kicking Positive) and so, Sergei goes to brood at the abandoned set of Cheers. Oh, how he longed for the days when he could go to a place where everybody knows his name, and they’re always glad he came. He wants to be where he can see, troubles are all the same. He wants to be where everybody knows his name. Sadly, the only person that does is his contact, with some juicy tidbits and plot points.

In the dorms, Nina fails to show apathy towards Arika’s safety, and as a result Erstin gets playful, wanting to hug and snuggle the stuffings out of the adorable Nina into compromising positions that makes many fanboys happy. Dear writers; get a life, thank you. Speaking of the devil, Arika’s out past curfew to find out the local Sacred 8-Ball for guidence. She’s also docked points for calling Sergei middle aged when he’s not even 30 yet! Meh, I say!

In the slums, Sergei’s contact leads him to what happens to be a special plot point to move the story along. Fifteen years ago, a maid was lucky(?) enough to escape the attack and witness the real queen of Windbloom’s escape. Now, Sergei’s looking for the real Queen by his contacts and in return, he gets razzed for being Daddy Long Legs for Arika. The contact learns quickly that you don’t push the North Hound, for you are a big bowl of Kibbles and Bits to him to be torn apart and eaten with impunity.

However, running through the slums of Windbloom in an outfit like hers is a definate source of trouble, because she gets a free birds eye view of the street and the thugs below get a show without her consent.

By combining the two threads, since both lines are in the slums, we find that Sunrise really hates us and/or seriously doubts our intelligence by revealing the incredible secret of Mai Otome. The real Queen of Windbloom was right under their noses all the time. And with Sergei on the prowl, his job just got a lot easier, since the thugs that accosted Arika are planning some rather vicious fashion makeovers. And yet, we have another cliff hanger as Arika shrieks for help.

We leave you with an obvious teaser that… well, we’ll leave it to you folks at home, since Sunrise obviously doesn’t think much of their viewers’ intelligence. ‘Till next time.