Uknighted Manganime Life is too short to watch bad anime

Kage Kara Mamoru is pretty cool. Why? It has ninjas. I shouldn’t have to say anything more.

Anyways, the first episode can be summed up in a few short bullet points:

1. Mamoru Kagemori is a big nerd.
2. Yuuna Konnyaku, his female next-door neighbor, is an airhead.
3. Yuuna gets herself kidnapped by a gang.
4. A ninja saves Yuuna.
5. Mamoru turns out to be the ninja.
6. Ninjas kick ass.
7. Yuuna wants Mamoru, who either fails to notice or fails to care.

This episode begins with a flashback to, like, 400 years ago. Here we see Mamoru’s ancestor accepting the great task of protecting Yuuna’s ancestor. Since then, the Kagemori clan has loyally guarded the Konnyaku family. Why? I’m going to guess that Yuuna’s intelligence is an inherited trait. If I’m wrong, I’ll stick to it anyway.

Back to the present! Mamoru has breakfast. He subsequently gets owned by his more ninjatastic father. Upon being released, Mamoru heads out and meets Yuuna for their daily walk to school and Conversation About That Girl I Just Saw.

As it turns out, That Girl I Just Saw, more commonly known as Tsubaki Mapputatsu, is a samurai or something. That is, she’s a swordsman or swordswoman or swordswhatever. Furthermore, she can cut anything with her sword, as explained by the conveniently appearing episode title. Sadly, she’s in cahoots with the gang. By this, I mean that the gang’s leader tells her that they were randomly attacked by Yuuna and some random ninja. As a Protector of Justice, Tsubaki cannot stand for such an unjust and unprovoked attack on bad guys! So she sets out to find and destroy Yuuna and her random ninja. Or something like that.

At the school, the girls are competing in tennis for some reason. The guys, being both male and characters in an anime, are lustfully staring at the girls. They gossip about whom they like, at which point Tsubaki shows up. Either Tsubaki was transferring to the school or the teacher just got really confused, as she is suddenly the newest addition to the school’s roster. Tsubaki then notices Yuuna and says something on the order of “OMGWTF FIGHT ME”, which Yuuna interprets to mean, “I say, milady, would you like to engage in a friendly game of tennis? I assure you that it shall be very enjoyable and that I shall have my ass handed to me”. After some tennis, Mamoru covers Tsubaki in a substance that causes a great mob of dogs to appear out of nowhere and smite her down, by which I mean lick her to death.

Commercial break!

Tsubaki ultimately wakes up in the infirmary. She and Yuuna talk about something and she ultimately denies being Yuuna’s friend, at which point Yuuna goes all wibbly on her, causing Tsubaki to reverse her stance. Mamoru shows up and starts walking Yuuna home. Then, he tells Yuuna to go on without him. She does, at which point he turns into Super Ninja Man and begins fighting Tsubaki, who has been following them. Then they realize that people are staring and decide to move somewhere else.

Mamoru and Tsubaki start fighting. The action’s pretty cool. Tsubaki cuts a bunch of shuriken in half and Mamoru explodes in a blast of amazing, technicolor, dream smoke. Then something that I fail to remember happens and Tsubaki’s chest decides to come out. Mamoru and Tsubaki suddenly lose all their power and she chases after him, wildly swinging her sword.

Mamoru ultimately discovers Tsubaki’s weakness by accident, saving his life. They then appear end up on top of a construction site, where they talk about everything that’s going on. It is here that Tsubaki learns of the gang’s trickery. Enraged, she sets out to cook up a nice meal of gangster stew.

CUT TO THE NEXT DAY! Tsubaki, now in uniform, goes to Mamoru school, where she decides to join the tennis club.

I think that’s it but I have one more screenshot, the context of which totally escapes me. To solve this problem, I’ll make something up: Mamoru invents a game where you propose to the next person you see. Hilarity ensues.

So, Kage Kara Mamoru? Awesome. It’s funny and absurd and it has ninjas.
Yeah.