Uknighted Manganime Life is too short to watch bad anime

In the forests of Windbloom, there exists a creature of such evil, horror, and madness that all who hope to catalogue it’s existence go mad before their research is done. It exists outside of nature and it’s very existence is a contradiction in terms, oxymoronic, and would made even the most horny pedophile castrate himself without a second thought.

Ladies and Gentlemen; I present to you, without your consideration,

THE MAKI MAKI HORROR PICTURE SHOW!

From this video our brave cameraman took, we see the Maki Maki in its normal element. Hiding in the woods for the most unsuspective prey. Though the cameraman took pity on this poor snail, we must refrain and not interfere with nature’s cruel smorgesboard.

Like all good predators, it never attacks alone. And with it’s prey cornered and without avenue of escape, these dangerous insects close in to do their vile and nasty deeds… such as forcing it to listen to pop music non-stop. Oh, such cruel and unusual punishments!

As you can see, the Maki primary source of substinence is swirls, or Maki Maki as they call them. As a result, anything from cheese danish, to peculiar art pieces, or orange wearing ninja are often targeted by this creature. The food loses its flavor, the sentient lose their sanity, and the cameraman lost his wallet in the filming of this because he made the mistake of carrying a clear-wrapped lolipop in his pocket.

The Maki Maki bug’s physical contruction is quite simple and contrived from make believe bugs that would never truly exist or would have died away via evolution or geological shifts. From our notes, we’ve discovered three different types of Maki Maki bugs, though they all have the same structure, they all possess unique characteristics which enable them to survive, despite all attempts by other bug species to wipe them out.

Our first subject is the primary Maki Maki:

Shihoca Moronica.

This particular bug is often the ring leader in the swarms for reasons beyond anyone’s comprehension. However, that doesn’t stop naturalists from from making half-hearted guesses that the Shihoca Moronica often bullies the other sub-classes of the Maki Maki to its twisted will. Despite its dominance, it’s a relatively stupid creature. With the primer for the psychic absorbing ability of it’s insatiable hunger for Spirals, only it can provide food for the lower species of the Maki Maki. By itself, it’s an annoyance. It’s capabilities hardly put it on par with the more deadlier spiecies out there, but should you find one, you should squash it with extreme prejudice immediately.

The second is the Yayoica Lolica.

More often than not, this nimble little runt can be dangerous, despite its seemingly adorable head. Yet, it’s threat is downplayed by the fact it can do nothing without the Shihoca Moronica. If the Shihoca’s intelligence is relatively low, Yayoica’s is below negligable. The Spiral on its head does most of the work for the feeding of its Maki Consumption, once the Shihoca’s priming begins. Despite this, it still gets the least amount of Maki when the chips are down. It’s usually never alone, so don’t hope to add it to your bug collection.

The third and final is the Lillieca Stoogica.

What little is known about the Yayoica, it is still more than when we know about the Lillieca. We can only assume that it fulfills the duties the other two specieis cannot due to it’s size and strength. Being more self-sustaining, one can find one every now and then and can be quite docile, unless there’s a Shihoca nearby, then, you run for the hills. However, when docile, it can be quite friendly and helpful to lost travelers when it leaves unmistakable marks on trees which, upon closer inspection, look like “HELP ME!” inscribed in the bark, though we’re not sure what that means. We recommend this particular sub-species as household pets for clearing out nasty flies and other insects that you cannot stand. Though, it’s best to only have one since they’re quite rare.

This is a film clip aquired by our man in the field, but alas, when the red eyed predator of the Maki Maki appeared, we lost contact and we had no choice but to continue filming with the ’specialists’ of these bugs.

With this, we continue to search for these elusive bugs and hope to learn as much as we can from them… then put them out of their misery….

The mystery continues…