Uknighted Manganime Life is too short to watch bad anime

If you see only 10,000 shows this year, make sure this ISN’T one of them!

Instead of bothering with another boring episode… we give you a special featurette that will scar you emotionally for the twisted delight of writers that were seriously hopped up on goofballs.

Switching formats, we read psuedo-fanmail from peoples that show that you shouldn’t mess with beloved franchises and twist them to the delight of wanker-shoujo ai/yuri fanboys. These messages will self-destruct… or, they would, but we ran out of funding to make exploding letters.

Since episode one, Otome has been stumbling as a series and as it attempts to reclaim some of HiME’s former glory, it only falls flat on its face. Read on, dear readers, for a recipie that pretty much describes how Otome’s going to continue, and possibly end. (images to come later)

What do you get when you combine petty politics, a pedophillicly carnivorous lesbian, lotsa finger pointing, a handsome male soldier, foreshadowing up the whazoo, one butt-ugly robot, and a plot twist which many saw coming as soon as the series started? No, it’s not the latest episode of Popular Trashy Reality TV show. Because you’ve been bad, it’s time for the latest episode of Mai Otome. Since we got a lot of twists going around, we recommend the viewers wear eye protection because there’s some loose ends flying at unsafe speeds, but that doesn’t neccesarily mean they’ll come to together.

Remember, this hurts me more than it does you… well, actually, it hurts all of us. So let’s share the pain, shall we?

Now we enter the still stupid, but in a special kind of stupid segment of Otome. The weak selling point of the series is to choose between ‘dreams and love’. Since I doubt the writers of Otome are married men, I don’t expect much. And who shall be the center of this episode than HiME’s own first sacrificial lamb, Akane. The lobby is now taking bets as to whether she either gets whacked (25 to 1), doesn’t get whacked, yet still screwed (50 to 1), and she gets a happy, though cliched ending, considering her track record (200 to 1). Place your bets, folks.

So i’ve been really busy lately, and then i suddenly realised i haven’t posted the synchros for the last few otome episodes (not that anyone reads them anyway) so here they are for you to read enjoy skim.

TWH: Aw… look at those adorable little file of Otome- DELETED!

What’s smaller than a bread box, not known for its work in the theatre, and hot as a jalapeno? No, it’s not Arika’s supposed brain, it’s this episode of Mai Otome… except it’s not. Thrill as the writers write in a cheap Tom Clancy rip-off to simulate political intrigue! Chill as Arika is used as Nina’s personal punching bag, to find the highest combo that any Otome can attain! Recoil in horror as Shizuru goes into her element of molesting teenage girls and making them her evil Uke slaves! And then…? You’ll just have to endure the rest of this article to find out!

After the breakneck pace that was episode 10, we slow things down enough to put someone to sleep. Cleverly hidden, is a sub-plot about three seperate birthday’s occuring all on the same day. Because Sunrise clearly hates you, it forces upon you even more serendipity than realistically plausable, while enforcing two more returning characters. Abandon sanity, all ye who enter.

Heinrich Nietzsche once said that what does not kill you, only makes you stronger. He imagined natural supermen that held the abiltiy to grow stronger by nature and more powerful and would conquer with the power of his natural body… appearently, he never had to experience pain like this, because I think Otome’s going to kill my hope for a good series.

Granted, this episode has yet to be as wanky as the previous one, it still has enough to create a major turn off for the emotionally healthy. Be warned, the following is image intensive and not for the faint of connection… and more humerous comments can by found by placing your mouse icon over the caps to read my brilliant (ha!) jokes.